Champ Frankie Edgar vs. Benson Henderson (UFC Lightweight Title Bout)
Ive been spending the whole day, daydreaming how I will spend my winnings from this fight. This will be the most painless £200 I have ever made/stolen/won/found in some bums pocket who passed out drunk outside a nightclub. Henderson Henderson Henderson. You heard me. Henderson. Edgar is tougher than the skin between a fat girls thighs, but I can see him getting worked here.
The less I write about this fight, the better, as I am as biased as the mother of a fat kid in a beauty contest here. I know Edgar has defended his belt 3 times now, but beating an unmotivated BJ Penn twice (once to win the belt), and nearly getting finished in the first round twice by Gray Maynard, doesn’t wow me. Edgar has unreal heart and endurance, but I think this cat runs out of lives tonight. Henderson is too athletic and too hungry here. I just pray to g……. I just really really hope that henderson doesn’t break in to another embarrassing rant/shoutout to god post fight. Its cheesy. he wont find it easy, but he’ll find a way to do it…….
Henderson by Decision
Ryan Bader vs. Quinton “Rampage” Jackson
Simply put, this is Jacksons fight to lose. There’s gonna be plenty of time to bang hot Japanese chicks and drink sake until the blood vessels in your eyes burst, AFTER the fight. I hope Rampage got that memo, and trains properly, as under-training will be the only way he fucks this up. Losing to Bader will be a humungous shit stain on a pretty swank resume. Whats more, I have £100 riding on this fight, and will be all sorts of pissed if he drops the ball on this one.
Bader isn’t a scrub by any means, but Rampage has only ever lost to the best (apart from Forrest Griffin. Forrest Griffin is crap) and Bader is far from the best. Bader is a strong wrestler with heavy hands. Rampage is a stronger wrestler with heavier hands. Lets not forget, Bader got put on his arse by Tito Ortiz. That’s like arm wrestling Stephen Hawking and getting your forearm snapped like that guy from The Fly.
Rampage by TKO
I love this fight. Love it I say. Cheick Kongo will stick to what he knows best here. I can see his master plan unfolding like this….. Knee in the dick. Grab the shorts. Knee the dick again. Knee that dick some more. Grab a bunch more shorts. A whole load of kneeing the dick. Grab the shit out of his shorts again. A knee dick for good measure. Win by unanimous decision. Hunts plan? Much simpler. Punch that big bastard in the face. If he doesn’t fall down, punch him again. But harder. When you hit as hard as Hunt, it only takes a few digs in the chops before the job is done
Mark Hunt’s last fight was so spectacularly bad, it was good. Hunt vs Rothwell looked like 2 drunken fat guys brawling in a pub car park, over the last packet of pork scratchings. I stuck a measly £10 on this one for shits and giggles in Hunt’s favour. PRIDE is what brought me to MMA, and I’m sticking to my roots here and getting behind the PRIDE vet
Mark Hunt by TKO
Yoshihiro Akiyama vs. Jake Shields
In an impressive 30+ fight career, Jake Shields has managed to have just 1 fight that can be referred to as entertaining.1 fight. That fight lasted just over a minute. That fight, was his last fight. That fight he got kneed into the middle of 2014 by Jake Ellenberger. Oh how I cheered.
Sexyama is the ‘anti-Shields’. Fans across the world are brought to their feet, watching him put his chin and fists through unbelievably trauma in some unreal scraps. I’m not gay, but I really fancy Akiyama. He’s such a dream. If Shields wins this, there is no god. Orphans will be burnt at the stake and rivers in Africa will run dry. God, do the right thing and let Akiyama KO Shields.
Akiyama by KO
Love me some Tim Boetsch. He looks like he should be wearing a PC World polo shirt and carrying out laptop upgrades for a living, not whooping that ass in a cage. Hoping to see a Redneck Judo clinic here. Okami, much like Shields, is one of those fighters thats sucks the life out of fights, and only entertains his public when he is getting the snot smashed out of him (ala the Anderson Silva fight).
Despite being monumentally boring, Okami might be a case of too much too soon for the IT technician. Hope not. His fights may be kinda dull, but he has legit wrestling and effective, albeit not spectacular striking. I can see Okami trying to rough Boetsch up against the cage and whilst trying to grind him down, eating a huge judo and shit sandwich, finding canvas in double quick time. Keeping Okami there might be another story.
Okami by decision
Hatsu Hioki and Bart Palaszewski
Bart looked great in his UFC debut, punching holes in Tyson Griffin’s face. Hioki looked like a featherweight turd in his UFC debut, squeaking past the terror inducing, world beating, widow-making George Roop to a decision. Debuts aside, I still think Bart takes this. Japan has a history of churning out fighters that once they are on the big stage, choke like a Jap schoolgirl deepthroating Lex Steele. Bart pushes a furious pace, and I think he overwhelms Hioki. Stick a 20 on it now. Thank me later
Bartimus by TKO
I’m not sold on Pettis yet. I know he beat my pick (Henderson) in the main event to take to WEC title, but since then Hendo has gone in to full on beast mode and has been shanking fools, while Pettis got wrestle-bummed by Clay Guida, and crept past gatekeeper Jeremy Stephens. Quite the contrast.
I lost money on Lauzon’s 1-3 underdog win against Guillard. I was convinced he was going to get trucked. 47 seconds later, Guillard was nursing a saw jaw and was getting his windpipe crushed. Pettis is out of his depth here. People have bought into his Vega from StreetFighter2 impersonation at WEC 53, and are overvaluing him terribly. Lauzon to win a sub of the night bonus here. Take that to the bank
Lauzon by submission